Expect - Expected - Expectation
I have come to the conclusion that the key to true and everlasting happiness is to have no expectations. Not for myself and not for anyone else or of life itself.
Don't get me wrong, I consider myself as a positive and happy person. I have even been described by my hubby as seeing life through rose tinted glasses. I am happy and healthy, but over 40. So its only natural to start questioning life now at the ripe old age of 44.
I have a very strong belief in God and that should give me enough reason to be at peace with myself and the world around me, right? Sadly, I must confess that I have more questions than ever before about how to achieve true happiness.
From the moment babies are born into this world, they are expected to reach certain milestones in their infant lives. On a physical level, they should start smiling after a couple of weeks, they should be sitting at about 5 to 6 months, crawl by more or less 7 or 8 months and if they don't walk by the time they have their first birthday, there is certainly something wrong. If a child performs above expectations (there's that word again!), they are considered clever or even better, gifted.
Even in our adult and supposedly modern society, there are certain expectations that need to be met. For instance, even now, in the enlightened era of the 21st century, there is an expectation that a woman who is not married by age 40, will sit on the shelf for ever. True, it has thankfully moved beyond the age of 30 which was the expected norm not too long ago, but still - who sets these impossibly unachievable standards?
When we do get married before the age of 40, we naturally have expectations of our spouse. And I can promise you that they are never low! Oh no, they are very high, so high in fact that newly weds are more likely to get divorced in the first 2 years of their marriage than at any other time. Why do I have a sneaky feeling that this could have something to do with the level of expectation we have of each other?
What if I were to have low, or even no expectations in the way I view my spouse, my children, my work, my own life? Would I become a slob? Would I become a lazy human being with no ambition for myself and everyone around me? Would I be an uncaring wife and mother and boss if I don't fuss and expect always the best from myself and the poor humans who share my life with me? And by the way, how do you define "the best"? Who sets the bar?
Joe Stowell says in a Bible study manual called, When the Going Gets Tough, that "You and I need to remember that one of the greatest difficulties we have in life is dealing with expectations that never come to pass. In fact, most counselors will tell you that much depression comes from the disappointment over broken expectations". He carries on and makes this statement,"Broken expectations are a leading source of discouragement and despondency".
Yes! I completely agree!
I attended an interesting workshop about Mental Health issues in Children. The statistics are shocking. The World Health Organisation predicts that by the year 2030, Mental Illness will be the greatest disease on the planet! So by the time my 7 year old students turn 18 and are ready to venture out into the world, most of them will be fighting depression and other demons for which they will have to use medication. A very scary and disturbing thought...
It makes me wonder whether it has something to do with our thirst for instant gratification and the need to be entertained. We are expecting everything to be at our fingertips, in our grasp and it must happen now! Social media puts us in touch with the rest of the planet instantly. Thin, ghostly-looking models burn up the runway on Instagram, our "friends" are having a nicer time than we are on Facebook and all of a sudden there is pressure, there is an expectation - if I am thin and rich I will be happy. The expectation becomes just too high!
My life expectancy is about 80 years, if I'm lucky enough to be accident and disease free. That means that I have just under 40 years of my life left. Maybe, and this is starting to sound like a great idea, I should spend the remaining years of my life on this Earth, by expecting the unexpected and then wait for life to exceed all my expectations!
Don't get me wrong, I consider myself as a positive and happy person. I have even been described by my hubby as seeing life through rose tinted glasses. I am happy and healthy, but over 40. So its only natural to start questioning life now at the ripe old age of 44.
I have a very strong belief in God and that should give me enough reason to be at peace with myself and the world around me, right? Sadly, I must confess that I have more questions than ever before about how to achieve true happiness.
From the moment babies are born into this world, they are expected to reach certain milestones in their infant lives. On a physical level, they should start smiling after a couple of weeks, they should be sitting at about 5 to 6 months, crawl by more or less 7 or 8 months and if they don't walk by the time they have their first birthday, there is certainly something wrong. If a child performs above expectations (there's that word again!), they are considered clever or even better, gifted.
Even in our adult and supposedly modern society, there are certain expectations that need to be met. For instance, even now, in the enlightened era of the 21st century, there is an expectation that a woman who is not married by age 40, will sit on the shelf for ever. True, it has thankfully moved beyond the age of 30 which was the expected norm not too long ago, but still - who sets these impossibly unachievable standards?
When we do get married before the age of 40, we naturally have expectations of our spouse. And I can promise you that they are never low! Oh no, they are very high, so high in fact that newly weds are more likely to get divorced in the first 2 years of their marriage than at any other time. Why do I have a sneaky feeling that this could have something to do with the level of expectation we have of each other?
What if I were to have low, or even no expectations in the way I view my spouse, my children, my work, my own life? Would I become a slob? Would I become a lazy human being with no ambition for myself and everyone around me? Would I be an uncaring wife and mother and boss if I don't fuss and expect always the best from myself and the poor humans who share my life with me? And by the way, how do you define "the best"? Who sets the bar?
Joe Stowell says in a Bible study manual called, When the Going Gets Tough, that "You and I need to remember that one of the greatest difficulties we have in life is dealing with expectations that never come to pass. In fact, most counselors will tell you that much depression comes from the disappointment over broken expectations". He carries on and makes this statement,"Broken expectations are a leading source of discouragement and despondency".
Yes! I completely agree!
I attended an interesting workshop about Mental Health issues in Children. The statistics are shocking. The World Health Organisation predicts that by the year 2030, Mental Illness will be the greatest disease on the planet! So by the time my 7 year old students turn 18 and are ready to venture out into the world, most of them will be fighting depression and other demons for which they will have to use medication. A very scary and disturbing thought...
It makes me wonder whether it has something to do with our thirst for instant gratification and the need to be entertained. We are expecting everything to be at our fingertips, in our grasp and it must happen now! Social media puts us in touch with the rest of the planet instantly. Thin, ghostly-looking models burn up the runway on Instagram, our "friends" are having a nicer time than we are on Facebook and all of a sudden there is pressure, there is an expectation - if I am thin and rich I will be happy. The expectation becomes just too high!
My life expectancy is about 80 years, if I'm lucky enough to be accident and disease free. That means that I have just under 40 years of my life left. Maybe, and this is starting to sound like a great idea, I should spend the remaining years of my life on this Earth, by expecting the unexpected and then wait for life to exceed all my expectations!
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